To produce, or not to produce

So the weekend went well. Praise the Lord no recurence of "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" as there was last weekend (that was a reference to U2 by the way). Although, Friday night, I believe, there was like an 8 hour standoff with a man in an apartment at Speedway & Pantano. Again, where I go basically everyday. When SWAT finally busted in, the man was found dead... of an overdose I believe. As everyone's emotions are still a little raw, I think it was pretty unnverving to see the SWAT tank rolling through town. Although it is a sad ending for the man, I am glad no shots were fired.

Saturday Mark & I got our pass to go onto Davis Monthan Air Force Base. Some good friends just moved onto base and we all went bowling at the base bowling alley. There was like no one there and it was so clean and smoke free. It was a great time! Despite my high being all of 96. I was a bit miffed as I have become a Pro on the Wii bowling game at home and was expecting my 235 average to carry over into the real alley as well!! Apparently when you add real floors, real gutters, and a real bowling ball, I stink! Image that. It was good times none the less. Our friends have a cute little male Pomeranian named Koda and he has previously hated me to say the least. As in bite-0ff-my-face if I get too close hate. Well Saturday he decided that I'm his new favorite! He basically mawled me in a loving sort of way. Speaking of dogs, our little Belle face is healing nicely. I've been so proud of how she has left her suture alone! We only used the cone collar a couple times...and seeing as we were too cheap and borrowed one, it is a good thing she left the suture alone as the collar was too big. It was so pitiful to watch her try to walk around. She'd start, then put her head down and be abruptly stopped by the cone. The door jam to outside was a bugger for her. She gave up. So, of course, I took it off her :)

The two pics without the cone are shortly after we got her home. She was SO drugged. She didn't move really. You can see her shaved belly in one :*(. The first night was BAD. Because they get anxious if left by themselves, she needed to be on our bed. Then, the drugs started wearing off about 12:45 AM, and of course Mark was not about to budge on his night off... his reply to me having to get up and down with the dog the ENTIRE night?! "Welcome to the life of a fire fighter!" (and some evil laughing). If that is what child rearing is like, I'm doomed. :) It was horrible having to take her out to potty, get her to eat (out of my hand), drink some water, get her comfy, put on the collar, make sure she was still breathing... Night 2 was a bit better, but still she got me up at like 1:30 AM. Now, we are not supposed to let her jump, run or play for 7-10 days post surgery. HA HA HA. Yeah, we'll see how that goes. So far, she is doing well, just sleeping A LOT actually. She is pretty hooked on her cage again and does not get up at 5:15 AM like she was pre-surgery. Sweet!

One last thing. I'm hoping my parents will be able to forgive me quickly for spaying Belle. Currently, there are many comments being made as to how horrible I am for doing that... like I ended the line of the last sweet faced toy poodle on earth. Honestly? I think the real issue is lack of REAL grandkids. The lack of puppies has somehow intensified the reality that they lack grand-children. A reality that seemed okay post Belle surgery, but now seems intolerable. To answer your question dad, there is nothing wrong with us. We are just, how shall I put it, NOT READY!! Okay, I'm scared to have children if you want the truth. I fear a life of "no life", looking frumpy, never having time with Mark, no sleep and no adult centered fun for like 25 years. I know many people love their children, my parents tried to convince me they were in that category, but really, MANY young couples, or not so young, that we talk to who have children have very little good to say. I'm thinking God is finally getting through to me that they have missed His plan for their lives however, as children are supposed to be a blessing. So, my friends, you can pray for me, for us, that I will be ready when God wants me to be. And can shut out the sad voices of the miserable parents.